This is for the man that I thought I would spend my days laughing with; my nights dreaming of, yet left me with mornings of what ifs.

This is our story.

If you think about it now, I deeply regret how everything has turned out. Well not that I regret having known the person, it’s just that if I had taken my time, it should have never ended like this. It was fast yet it felt different. I felt a different kind of love that I never felt before in that short span of time. I know it was real. I believe it was real when we were at the moment. He was real to me, his feelings, his words and his actions. All of them were real and I stand to believe on them. Yet indeed, whirlwind romance doesn’t succeed in the end. It will only give you pain and a realization that love should not be rushed at all. It really takes times because that 5-second happiness can turn into a whole lifetime of regrets in just a blink of an eye.

I was a very happy girl in a never perfect relationship with a man who has loved me with all of his heart and soul. In fact, if you were in my place, you would not dare to have it exchange for anything in the world. What more can I asked for? He gave me everything I want. He does everything I say. His world revolves around me. I was his only one and I don’t doubt a single of it. He was so madly, deeply and truly in love with me and at that time, I THOUGHT I WAS TOO. I was happy, we were happy together. Problems come and go and tested our relationship and yet, we didn’t care. We were strong at that time and we thought nothing could tear us down but I was wrong. I never thought that one unexpected afternoon can changed everything that I thought I always knew about myself. 

Someone, a complete stranger came barging into my heart and since then, I was never the same. I never knew he existed or if I had known I didn’t care. I was happy with my life as it is. I never wanted to know him but destiny or whatever it is, made me know him still. I was tricked. I know I won’t like him! He was the one who came rushing in and make me want to fall. I didn’t want to fall. It was very clear to me that I won’t fall with a total stranger and so, I was rest assured that offering him my friendship won’t hurt a bone. And then it started…. And it changed me. L

Out of the blue, we started to feel different.. There was something more and it got stronger each day. He was becoming more of a routine I can’t seem to not have. It was not about me and my man anymore, it was becoming me; my man and him. I was terrified. I am not used to this kind of love. It was definitely wrong but I know he makes me happy which was now lacking in my relationship. I had to stop this. I had to make a decision. One or the other, I had to choose. Either way there will be someone hurting in the end and so, I chose to break the man who has loved with all of his heart. I know I left him not because I have another but because our relationship was not working anymore. We were not happy, and it was not healthy for the both of us to stay any longer.

While I was on the process of healing, I tried to stay away from him but I just don’t know what it is that he has that makes me want to be with him more. He was like a magnet and I was a piece of scrap. Scarred, fed up, and needy. 

(to be continued….)